Everyone has someone or something(like an animal or a character) he or she looks up to. That person shows something, a quality, a trait, an emotion, a skill… It can be almost anything, and sometimes it’s more than one thing. I don’t know if it is a ‘human nature’ sort of thing, but to me it feels like it would be one of those things.
By having an example to look up to you also make a sort of statement, or even a vow, to yourself. That person/thing I look up to has something/embodies something that I value and which I do not possess at the present time (and I want to work on changing so that one day I shall possess that something myself).
A little while back I said the following to someone: “I want to become someone’s example. I want to be someone to look up to, who has achieved her goals and dreams. I want to be that success story that will give other people the courage to keep on going, to keep faith and to not give up on what they are working for.”
I want to become an example. I want to become my own example.
By being your own example you keep a clear idea of what you value most in a person. People will always have that part of themselves that is insecure about something. But by being your own example you can keep that part. Hopefully the experience of how it feels to be that person that you look up to will help you overcome the insecurities in yourself.
The theory behind this philosophy is pretty simple, but like everything else, the practice will more likely be quite a challenge.
To become your own example you need to have it clear in your mind what it is that you want to embody. You can do this by making a list of things or names of people who already embody that. You can also try to envision yourself with it. You can set an example about always being honest or straight-forward, or by being able to walk with confidence and your head held high(even in troubled times). Or perhaps you feel that you want to set an example by keeping your own path, even when other people tell you that you are being completely ridiculous.
Whatever kind of person you want to be, it has to be the kind of person that you would feel good with. You have to be able to say that for you the drawbacks of the kind of person that you want to become are outweighed by your faith and trust in yourself that what you do is right, for you. You have to remember that simply because you feel right and good being a certain person does not mean that other people will have that same experience, some people might like you better the way that you were. The most important thing is that you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see and that you accept what the consequences are going to be of who you have decided to become. Not everybody is going to be happy with your (new) personality, but you have to live with yourself, the people around you don’t.
When you have the kind of person in mind that you want to be the hardest part is yet to come. To act like that kind of person, and here comes being your own example around the corner. Because sometimes you won’t know what to do, how to act or what to say. Whenever that happens all you have to do is think of your example(the way you would normally before you decided to become your own example) and think of what your example would do in that situation. Then you can use that to do what you feel is right. Use the strength of your example (you) to become your own example. All you have to do is keep in mind the person that you want to be (safe from a completely different identity of course) and then become that person. Keep in mind what that person would do in a situation and follow that advice.
It is not going to be the easiest road, but if all goes well it will bring you to the person that you are on the inside and who wants to come out but is a little bit too scared. This road might be one of trial and error because you aren’t used to being this kind of person and it may need some tweaking. Of course it is always possible that being your own example gives you just that bit of extra strength that you needed to be you completely. The outcome might not be what you expected, the consequences may not always be good. You don’t have to stay with what you envisioned the first time, maybe along the way you find that you are not happy with being the kind of person that you’ve always dreamed of being. That the drawbacks outweigh any positivity. When this happens you can simply change your example and take the strength from that one to walk away from the previous one. You have to be happy with yourself and you have the right to keep on searching until you find that person that you are happy with being. You might surprise yourself when you find out who that is.
Look in your heart, don’t forget your mind, accept the consequences and become your own example by being who you really want to be.
Imkewrites 